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Banta
Singh's Interview
Santa & Banta r 2 friends & Santa
Singh has a very
good job . Banta Singh is jobless & one day asks Santa
for some good job . Santa Singh says , OK next time
we'll apply together & they do . On the interview day
, Santa Singh says , first I will go inside & answer
all the questions except the last one , & after coming
out I would give u all the Ans & Qs . So u go & then
answer there . U will get the job . So Santa goes in .
The interview now begins . Here it goes.....
EMPLOYER :- When we got independence ?
SANTA :- Efforts started in 1857 , but we got freedom
in 1947 .
EMPLOYER :- Good !!! Who is our PM ?
SANTA :- It changes daily & these days it is Atal
Bihari Vajpayee .
EMPLOYER :- OK . What's India's population ?
SANTA :- (He was not able to reply the last one , so
he says )Good Qs , Research is going on , & when I
know , I will tell u Sir .
Now , he comes out & tells Qs & Ans to Banta Singh .
Banta Singh was a real SARDAR & he remembers all Ans &
forgets all Qs .
He goes in now .
EMPLOYER :- When were u born ?
BANTA :- Efforts started in 1857 , but got freedom in
1947 .
EMPLOYER :- What ?????? Who is ur father ?
BANTA :- It changes daily & these days it is Atal
Bihari Vajpayee .
EMPLOYER :- (The Employer was upset by now ) Are u mad
Mr.Banta ????
BANTA :- Good Question . Research is going on , & when
I know , I will tell u Sir .
Banta
Singh learns Tamil
Banta Singh had just moved to Chennai. He decided to
learn the local language, Tamil, so that he could
converse easily with the locals.
So he went to the bookstore and picked up two copies
of 'Learn Tamil in Thirty Days'. The shopkeeper
enquired, " Sir, is the second copy for your friend?"
"No yaar, I want to learn Tamil in just fifteen days."
Banta Singh becomes Grandfather
Santa's eldest daughter had been taken to the delivery room in a hospital.
Santa was anxiously waiting for the news when he heard the crying of a newborn
babe.
A few minutes later a nurse came out and congratulated him. "Sister, Am I a
grandfather or a grandmother?"
The Lie Detector
An Englishman, an American, and a Sardarji were called upon to test a lie
detector.
The Englishman said, "I think I can guzzle 20 bottles of beer."
Buzzzz... went the lie detector.
"okay," he said, "10 bottles." And the machine was silent.
Then it was the American's turn. " I can eat upto 15 hamburgers."
Again the lie detector went Buzzzz....
Alright, 6 hamburgers...but definitely 6." This time the machine was silent
The Sardarji started, " I think...."
And the machine went Buzzzz.......
Sardarji's
Problem
Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Sardarji : 'What problem?'
Sardarji's
Poetry
Sardarji is at a feast arranged by the Queen of England. One of the
dignitaries present requests the Queen,
"Pass the Wine you Divine !".
Sardarji thinks to himself -"How poetic !".
Sardar also wants to say a rhyming sentence. He tells
the British ambassador sitting next to him,
"Pass the custard you bastard".
You can be dead sure the person is Sardar when he:
1.puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind.
2.gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
3.sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
4.tries to drown a fish in waters.
5.thinks socialism means partying.
6.trips over a cordless phone.
7.takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
8.at the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts
"Scorpion."
9.studies for a blood test and fails.
10.sells the car for gas money.
11.misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
12.drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left",
he
turns around and goes home.
13.gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.
Sardarji's
Flight Inquiry
Sardarji calls British Airways.
"How long does it take to fly to London?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
Train
to Lahore
Two Sardarjis are in a railway station.
"Can I take this train to Lahore?" asks the first.
"No," answers the RR man.
"Can I?" asks the second Sardarji.
Sardarji in Faisalabad
Sardarji is in Faisalabad. He is walking on the Ghanta Ghar Chowk which has a
Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get
a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for
several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken. On the next day the Sardarji
is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock." Give
me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The
Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a
fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
Sardars'
Bhaiwaal
A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to
the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a
mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhaiwaal in there,
quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. After five minutes he goes
again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he's made
20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there.
So
he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC
(Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the
bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to
get the resident bhaiwaal out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the
sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway
staff member".
Sardarji's
Exams
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He
takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five
minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them
out of the window. He
then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and
watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is
going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it
says here, Answer the following questions in brief".
Sardarji
answers the phone
Sardar Gurbachan Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor
asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the
phone accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear".
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what
happened to your other ear?"
"That son of a bitch called back after sometime",
Gurbachan replied in anger.
Color
TVs
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
Sardarji's
English Paper
Gurbachan Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends
asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but
for the past tense
of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!"
Sardarji
VS Kasprov
Mr. Harpreet Singh Gulati is travelling from Moscow to TurbanPore (Capital of
Khalistan) by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks
him
whether he would like to play chess to kill time. Harpreet : "Oye Gar(r)y.
You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion"
Gary : "How about if I play left handed ?"
Harpreet : [Think.. Think..] "OK!"
Harpreet is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of
the journey. On landing he meets his friend Manpreet Singh.
Harpreet : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated
me inspite of him playing left-handed...
Manpreet : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!!
U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
Fine
Harpreet Singh Gulati was in court charged with parking his car in a
restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices", said Harpreet
Singh.
"It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
Chinese
Sikh
Harpreet Singh got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth
certificate.
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
"Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on
the Earth now is a Chinese."
Sardarji
bets
Surjit Singh saw that his friend Pambeer Singh was very depressed.
"What happened?" asked Surjit.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday." replied Pambeer.
"How come ?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between Pakistan and India was being
shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?" asked Surjit.
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too!"
Sardarji's
thinking
Having lost his donkey Sardar Pambeer Singh Bambawala, got down to his
knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked,"Your donkey
is missing;
what are you thanking God for?
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
So Pambeer is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the
road. Can you guess what he must be thinking?
"ooh maa..... ajj fer digna payee gaa..." (I'll have to fall today
too!)
Sardarji's
Disease
Sardarji (to Doctor): I have a contagious problem.
Smart doctor: What is the problem yaar?
Sardarji: I keep forgetting things.
Smart doctor: Ha! Ha! Well then give me my fee first yaa.
Sardarji: Did'nt I give it you?
Smart doctor: No you did'nt!!
Sardarji: See! See! Did'nt I tell you this disease
is contagious!!
Space
Mission
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardar Jee were sent to the outer space by NASA
for a space mission.
The ground control issues commands.
"Rubi!"
"Woof!"
"Press the red button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!"
"Woof!"
"Press the white button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!"
"Woof."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling
mistakes !!
Santa: What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Banta: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!
Banta:When did George Washington die ?
Santa:Two days before his FUNERAL
Banta : Tell me five FERROCIOUS animals you can think of...
Santa : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
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